Busy Days

Hello Baby,

My, you're a busy little one these days. It's been a while since I've written to you - mostly because Daddy and I have been spending most of our time getting ready for your arrival. Today you are exactly 8 months into your development and the time has flown by. I can't wait to meet you but I am simultaneously begging the days to slow down so that I have more time to prepare - I just want you to feel safe and loved when you get here.

Daddy sings to you quite often now - most recently it was "Goodnight, Sweetheart" but he substituted "Sweetheart" with your name. You respond to his voice immediately and he constantly notes how strong you're getting and reminds you to be gentle on your Mama. He refers to the two of us as "his girls" - I'll frequently get text messages from him that say "How are my girls doing today?" It makes me smile every time! He is so excited to play with you and show you how to get into trouble - though I get the feeling you'll have no problem finding trouble all on your own!

It's probably getting crowded in there now and your movements aren't as quick. I hope you're comfortable and that I don't upset you with all the terrible candy I eat lately. I've been baking lots of goodies and eating far too many of them - I promise, I'm trying to be better! I'm watching my belly pulse and bulge from your movements right now. I just ate a granola bar and they always make you pretty jumpy! Daddy says he loves you and he hopes you're having a nice day and growing big and strong.

Mama loves you too, sweet girl.

See you soon!

Be Brave

My Dear Scarlett,

Your Mama desperately needs to stop reading articles about what our first few months with you will be like. While well-intentioned, they're terrifying! Even if it's true that your Daddy and I will essentially be hostages in our own home, enslaved by your emotions and needs for what seems like FOREVER, that's not what I want to hear right now.

I'm scared enough as it is and I just want to imagine that it won't be as hard as I think and that everything will be just fine (because it will). So I'm going to take a break from all these other "mommy blogs" and just enjoy my time with you as you grow inside me. I'm going to try my best to just BE BRAVE.

Daddy and I had our first prenatal class last night! It was lots of fun - the instructor is a hoot and the information she gave us was really interesting! After the class we went out for a nice dinner and spent some time staring at one-another and marveling at how lucky we are to have found each other and now to be expecting you. We are shamelessly, nauseatingly in love (as you will soon discover).

Your Daddy sings to you from time to time and has taken to teaching you life-lessons already! Last night he advised you to spend a lot of time just quietly observing people because you can learn a lot about the world we live in by people-watching. He's an old soul, your Daddy, but he's a wise one. He also said the following:

"You're gonna be kind and wise, just like your Mama. So make sure you listen to her - she's a smart lady with a lot of great advice to give."

We love you.
Mama xoxox

Unsure

Hello Darling,

Can you tell how anxious I am? I have countless moments of doubt, insecurity, uncertainty, and heart-stopping fear. One moment I'll be blissfully imagining what our lives will be like once you arrive, and the next moment will see me emotionally doubled-over in crippling fear that I will screw you up and fail to provide you with all the love and care you deserve.

I can't promise you that I won't fail you ... and I can't promise you that I won't disappoint you ... but I can promise you this:

There will never be a day, sweet child, that I don't love you.
There will never come a time that you question where your home is.

We will always love you and we will always be your home.

Love,
Mama

Voices

Hi My Girl,

I'm sorry that I haven't written to you as much lately. I was very sick again last weekend and had to spend 4 days in the hospital getting lots of medications and fluids to help make me better. I hope you weren't too disturbed by being poked and prodded by all the doctors and nurses. It was lovely to hear your steady little heartbeat over and over during my hospital stay. Every time the nurses gave me medication they would listen to your heart to make sure you weren't being affected by it (you weren't - you are still as healthy as can be!)

I'm feeling much better these days - still tired and achy but the doctors have given me medicine to take for the rest of my pregnancy to (hopefully) prevent me from getting sick again. I hope you're doing okay in there and that you can feel how deeply loved you are.

You are now almost 23 weeks and seem to be testing your boundaries! Your movements are much stronger and seem almost deliberate at times - especially when your Daddy talks to you. Every time you hear his voice you kick and squirm like crazy! It's very special for both of us to know you're developing a connection with him already. He's going to be your best friend, I just know it! He calls you his Little Lady and Little Dancer and constantly tells you how much he loves you and has been thinking of you. Do you ever get tired of hearing our voices? We talk to you so much!

I can't wait to hear your voice for the first time, sweet girl.

I love you,
Mama

Sugar and Spice

Hello My Sweet Little Lady,

Last week we found out that you're a sweet, squirming little girl! Mama cried when the ultrasound technician told us that not only are you a little girl, but you're developing perfectly and there don't seem to be any issues so far. You were a perfect representation of your Daddy and I during the ultrasound - you were face down and refused to turn over (stubborn, like your Mama) and yet you wiggled so much that she couldn't get very good pictures of you (fidgety, just like Daddy!)

We then spent the weekend with your Aunty Becky and your cousins Gregor and Duncan in Medicine Hat! We had so much fun and Aunty Becky has already spoiled you rotten. It was so nice (and surreal) for your Daddy and I to be able to shop for specific items and to call you by name. You were squirmy (as always) and you seem to be getting bigger by the second (so does Mama!)

We are finally starting to imagine what your little bedroom should look like and are planning to start getting it ready very soon. I can't wait to hold you. Your Daddy can't wait to make you laugh.

I love you, sweet girl.
Mama
xoxoxox

Happy Feet

Dear Baby,

Goodness me, you never stop moving! You especially love when your Daddy reads you stories at night. He calls you Tiny Dancer because I said it feels like you're dancing in my belly. You certainly have happy little feet!

Last night you were resting on the left-hand side of my belly and I could see a big lump where you were. It made my belly look lopsided but your Daddy and I got a real kick out of knowing exactly where you were! Daddy finally got to feel you moving around a few days ago - now he is constantly talking to you and putting his hands on my belly so that he can feel you wiggling.

Soon we'll be finding out if you're a little lady or a little gent - we can't wait! We're excited to be able to start preparing for your arrival (and to call you something other than "Baby" and "Little One.")

We love you, Happy Feet. Keep dancing.

Love,
Mama

Time Lapse

Dear Baby,

Sorry it's been a while since I've written to you - I've talked to you every day though and surely that counts for something! Your Mama has been sick as dog for the past couple weeks and I desperately hope the meds and fever and general poorly-ness hasn't affected you. I can feel you squirming around in there though so I suspect you're doing just fine.

You moved when your Daddy was talking to you the other day. It was a lovely moment - I wish he could've felt it too. It was the first time I'd felt you move all day and it was (I assume) in response to his voice. He was telling you he loves you and can't wait to show you the world.

We read to you before bed now. So far it's just Tales of Oliver Pig (one of Mama's favourites when she was younger) but I promise to dig out the Robert Munsch books very soon. Your Daddy hates reading aloud but I love those moments with you both - watching him cuddle up to my belly to read you sweet stories is ... magical. Everything about you is magical.

Stay warm in there, little one. It's still too cold out here for you.

I love you.
Mama

Roots

Dear Baby,

I just want you to know that your Mama and your Daddy are madly in love. Right now, in this moment, we are completely head-over-heels for one another. There will be times when we argue and I'm sure there will be times when we don't seem particularly enchanted with each other but please know: our love has roots. I promise to love your Daddy as best as I can, for as long as I can. And I promise to allow him to love me back.

We promise to show you how to love and how to receive love.

Love,
Mama

Beauty

James and I regularly daydream about what our baby is going to look like - which features they will inherit from us and how we will will see ourselves in them.

Me (talking to my belly): If you look like your Daddy, you will be gorgeous. When you're born, just look for the most handsome man in the room - that's your Papa. If you're a boy, all the girls will love you and follow you around.

James (talking to my belly): "And if you look like your Mama, you're going to get lots of attention. People will stare at you and approach you and you'll have to learn to deal with that humbly - not everyone gets to be as beautiful as you. Besides, something bad could happen and you could end up ugly! So keep that in mind. But how you look will always be just a tiny portion of who you are. You are so much more than that. And you'll always be beautiful to me."

Stars

"I wanna take our child out into the middle of nowhere, on a dark moonless night, and show them the stars. I don't want them to experience life through a screen. The world is so big and it's my job to show them as much of it as I can."

Lucky

Over the Christmas holidays I said to James "Our baby is so lucky to have you." He responded:

"Lucky to have us. I don't think I'd be much good without you. I'm so happy you chose to be with me - it makes me wanna dance."