Baby Talk

On Saturday, October 26th, James and I found out we're pregnant again. I cried for a few seconds and then calmly exited the bathroom and sat down next to him on the couch. He was busy on his phone so I waited until he glanced over at me with his trademark smile and slid the positive test into his hand. He stared at it for what felt like forever until slowly a huge grin crept on to his face. He pulled me close and kissed my head and held me while I cried tears of joy. We didn't actually speak for a few minutes until we had to yell at the puppy to stop crawling all over us (she's 40lbs) because we were trying to have a moment.

He placed his hand over my lower abdomen and simply said "We're having a baby." I cried some more and hugged him so tightly he laughed. Glancing again at the pregnancy test in his hand, he said "That line is really faint ... are we sure it's positive?" I explained frantically that the line represents a presence of hcg and if it's faint it usually just means there isn't a strong presence of hcg because the pregnancy is quite new (which would make sense in our case.) I could tell he was afraid to get too excited just in case it ended up being a false alarm. But I knew.

I knew I was pregnant at the end of the second week in October. I could feel it. My body felt different somehow ... more important. Waiting 2 weeks for the positive test result was torture but somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew what the answer would be: yes.

My heart is full of pride and joy at what we've created, yet my brain is consumed with worry and apprehension. There's a major part of me that wars against my excitement - a part that cautions me not to get my hopes up just in case we lose this baby too. But no matter how terrified I am or how realistic I try to be, I'm absolutely overwhelmed with joy. And until I have a reason to feel otherwise, every day feels like the best day of my life.

An Open Letter to my Uterus

Dear Baby,

Please stay put. Please keep growing and developing. We have so much to show you.

We already love you so much.

Please don't leave us. Lets go the distance this time.

Love,
Mama

2 Years

James and I celebrated our 2 year anniversary this week. 2 years of challenges, adventures, love, and laughter. So much laughter. I am more blessed than I ever thought possible:

"I'm going to love you forever and for always, Jen. I am inspired."